


It's Only A Matter of Time Before We All Burn

by orphan_account



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Agoraphobia, Angst, Anxiety Disorder, Depression, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Nico is adorable, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Gaea, Suicide Attempt, Triggers, Will is adorable
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-04-05 15:02:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4184310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So Nico has what is called Generalized Anxiety Disorder, or GAD. Through this disorder he also has Panic Disorder, and to accompany that, Agoraphobia."</p><p>Will glanced over to Nico who was looking down at his hands as he messed with them.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Death Cab for Cutie

When the wind picked up and the fire spread

And the Grapevine seemed left for dead

And the Northern Sky like the end of days

The end of days

 

A wake up call to a rented room

Sounded like an alarm of impending doom

To warn it's only a matter of time

Before we all burn

* * *

 

 

Will looked down at the paperwork. Being a doctor he was used to medical terms, but this was not his expertise. Psychology wasn't his field of work, but he needed to know what everything meant in order to help Nico. That was his goal. By the time he left here he would know what everything on this paper meant.

"So, I am going to assume you have questions. Fire away," said the lady in front of them.

They were in her office, Nico and Will sitting in two chairs in front of her desk, her on the other side, arms folded on the desk as she leaned toward them. She had a smile on, one that anyone else would see as your normal, understanding smile, but one Will noticed as a kind of smile that came with years of practice. Seeing so many people hurt, physically or mentally, you learned to have a smile that was sympathetic and kind, and it wasn't a lie, the smile, but it also hid sadness and pain.

"Um, yeah. I guess all of it would be nice," Will said.

"Of course. We have as long as you need. So Nico has what is called Generalized Anxiety Disorder, or GAD. Through this disorder he also has Panic Disorder, and to accompany that, Agoraphobia."

Will glanced over to Nico who was looking down at his hands as he messed with them.

"GAD is usually caused by abnormalities in the brain, genes in a family, or high levels of stress," she continued. Her voice was even and practiced, but to Nico the words were harsh and overwhelming. "As we were testing Nico, we didn't see anything wrong with the brain itself, but besides that it would take more evaluation to figure out what caused the anxiety. Even then, though, it's always debatable on the cause of almost any disorder," Nico was starting to hate that word. _Disorder_.

"Panic Disorder is often seen with GAD, and is the cause behind Nico's panic attacks. When he has them, though, his Agoraphobia makes him afraid that he won't be able to get out of the situation, or he won't be able to get help. He will also avoid situations were he fears a panic attack may occur due to his Agoraphobia," she said.

 _Gods_ , Nico thought. _How fucked up am I?_

"Okay," Will swallowed. That got Nico thinking.

_What if he leaves? What if he just stays with me because he pities me? What if I change and everyone leaves? What if he stops loving me? Did he ever love me?_

The thoughts fired through Nico's brain faster than he could stop them. His heart rate picked up and he started getting hot and dizzy.

"Sweetie, you okay?" he heard Will ask.

He couldn't breathe. He was trembling and he couldn't breathe. This was all so terrible, so wrong. He was supposed to be okay. He made it out, he had friends, he had Will. He was supposed to be okay.

Then Will and the women were both crouched in front of Nico. "Nico, it's okay, breathe, everything is going to be okay," he heard Will say.Will may not be a psychologist or a therapist, but he was a doctor, he knew how to do this.

"Breathe with me okay?" the psychologist said. She began counting to ten, breathing with Nico and helped him steady his pounding heart.

Once the panic attack was over, the lady, who Nico didn't catch the name of, leaned back and sat on her desk. Will stayed on the floor next to Nico's chair, a hand resting on his knee.

"Thank you," Nico croaked. He was hunched over, head resting on his hands.

"Of course, Nico. You did wonderful, by the way," she said.

Nico gave her a look. "At what? Freaking out? Yeah, I did fantastic," he said bitterly.

But she laughed, and shook her head. "No, I mean that was a quick recovery. Your breathing was quick to level out, and you seemed to take control easy. That's good. That's hope."

Nico gave her a weak smile.

"So," Will began. "What are your suggestions?"

"Yes. Well, first, in the paperwork I gave you there are statistics on our clinic and how much it would cost. It show all of scheduling options, and what times, doctors, and days are available. I, personally, would suggest that you, Nico, could try to come in a few times a week just to see how you feel about it, but I don't know if that fits in with your schedule."

"Well, I am going to school right now, and Will's a doctor so money and dates aren't our biggest concern," _and the god of riches is my dad. In fact our entire family is_ literally _gods sooo..._

"Okay," she said. "Any other questions for me right now? My card is in the paperwork so you can call or e-mail me if anything comes up."

"No, I don't think so," Will said, standing up. "Thank you. We'll let you know later."

"Alright. Have a nice day," she said.

Will grabbed the folder with all the information in one hand and slipped his arm around Nico's waist with the other. They walked out in silence, through the lobby and outside. The sun was setting, and the sky was a nice mix of oranges and yellows. It looked nice. No one said anything until they were in the car, Will in the driver's seat. He turned so he was facing Nico.

"What do you think, Death Boy?" Will said quietly.

Nico pulled one leg up close to him, wrapped his arm around it, and placed his chin on his knee. "I don't know..." he said.

"Did you want to talk to someone?" Will asked.

Nico rolled his eyes as a smile tugged at his lips. "You can say therapist, ya' know."

Will barked out a short laugh, and turned to start the car.

"If I had said therapist, you would have glared at me hard enough to send me straight to the Underworld."

Nico shrugged. "You know me too well, Solace." All of this was said with a tinge of sorrow and love dusting their words.

* * *

 

 

And the news reports on the radio

Said it was getting worse

As the ocean air fanned the flame

But I couldn't think of anywhere I would have rather been

To watch it all burn away

To burn away

 

The fireman worked in double shifts

With prayers of rain on their lips

And they knew it was only a matter of time

 

Death Cab for Cutie- _Grapevine Fires_


	2. Mumford and Sons

And in the middle of the night I may watch you go

There'll be no value in the strength

Of walls that I have grown

There'll be no comfort in the shade

Of the shadows thrown

But I'd be yours if you'd be mine

* * *

When they got home they ate leftovers and sat in front of the TV. They watched a few episodes of Doctor Who, then went to bed. Nico, in his normal attire, sweatpants and one of Will's t-shirts, was curled into Will's bare chest, thinking. He thought about going to a therapist (which made him anxious), he thought about telling Hazel (which made him anxious), he thought about telling all his friends (which made him anxious), and he thought about why he was anxious...believe it or not, that also made him anxious. Nico let out a sigh, and tried his hardest to sleep.

* * *

 

_It was dark and he could hear something. He had no idea what it was, but it sounded threatening and it terrified him. Imagine nails grinding into a chalkboard, but at the same time an insane laughter tying into the terrible screeching noise. The laughter was that of a women's and it made him sick._

_Gaea._

_Suddenly the darkness was lit with a red light, the red of blood. The ground moved and rolled like an ocean, and when he looked down he saw he was standing on exactly that. An ocean even redder and bloodier than the light. He stumbled and tried to stay standing, but he fell onto his hands and knees, blood splashing up his arms. How he was walking on water, he didn't know nor did he care. Instead, he was focused on the taunting voice of Gaea._

_"Look at all of them. Dead!" she said and she sounded crazy, like she couldn't believe "they" were dead, but she sounded happy. No, ecstatic._

_Nico looked back down and he saw the face of anyone he had ever cared for, all of them looking lifeless as they rolled with the waves of an ocean that had to be blood. He saw everyone. His mother, both his sisters, Jason, Annabeth, Percy, Leo, the list went on and on. Frank, Piper, Calypso, Grover, Juniper, Coach Hedge and his family, everyone at camp who was kind to him. Will. It just never seemed to end._

_"Every single one," Gaea said in a sing-song voice. In reality, Gaea sounded nothing like she did in Nico's dream, but he knew it was her._ _"You should have he-elped," her voice raised a octave at the end. She was deranged._

_But what was worse was the low growl, if you could call it that. The ground shook and suddenly Nico sat in a chair. It reminded him of the crime shows Will had him watch, where all the corners were dark, a lamp on a steel table in front of him. He was strapped to a chair and he grunted as struggled to get out._

_"Why? Why didn't you do anything?" A voice startled him. The only way he could think of to describe it was like Tartarus was speaking to him._

_"What?" Nico said._

_"They needed you. But you left them. You left him!" he shouted at Nico. He was still hiding in the shadows._

_"Who? What? Who?...Will?" he chocked the words out._

_The next voice was Bianca's. "You replaced me?" she said sounding hurt and angry. When she stepped into the light her eyes were completely black, tears in her skin, some fresh some old._

_"No! Never!" he tried to say._

_"I thought yo promised?! Why did you do it?! You only care about yourself!" said another hurt, angry voice._

_"Jason?" He looked as bad as Bianca. They were both yelling at him, questioning him. More and more hurt voices and shredded bodies joined theirs. Percy wondering how he could be such a traitor, Hazel saying Nico never loved her, Piper saying he was worthless._

_Will saying he didn't love Nico. That he was nothing, that he should just leave._

_Nico broke at that last one._

_He brought his hands up to his face, no longer strapped to a chair, and was taken to a seemingly empty forest except for him, curled into a fetal position, and the Empousa attacking him relentlessly. He shouted, screamed, apologized until, finally, he was jerked awake._

* * *

When Nico woke up he was screaming. Will was next to him, sitting up, holding Nico up with him.

Will had been saying Nico's name for almost two minutes trying to get him up. He held Nico's cheek in one hand, his arm on Nico's shoulder. Nico was huddled into a ball, his legs gathered up against his chest. His head was on his knees as he screamed and yelled "Sorry!" and "No!".

It broke Will's heart.

Once he was up, Nico started gasping, trying to take in air and not getting enough, but also drowning in it. He started getting dizzy.

"Shh, you're okay, it's going to be okay. I'm right here." Will said gently.

"I-I- you were dead, and she, uh-" Nico said, his dream coming full-flood into Nico's mind. He was going to be sick. He got up and stumbled into the bathroom, Will scrambling after him. He leaned over and actually threw up. Will went and put a shirt on to go with his sweatpants, but hurried back into the bathroom.

Nico was hunched over the toilet, gripping it so hard his knuckles turned white. He was sweating and looked on edge. Once he saw Will approach him, his eyes flooded with relief, then exhaustion.

Will took a seat next to him and grabbed Nico's hands so he would let go of the toilet. He looked into his boyfriends gorgeous, dark eyes. He saw fear and despair, but he also love and hope and strength. That was enough.

"Nightmare?" he whispered.

Nico felt tears sting his eyes. He nodded.

"Do you want to talk about?"

Nico sat there and, facing Will, and looked at the ground. He really didn't want to cry, but he was scared if he started talking, his emotions would take over and he wouldn't be able to stop the tears.

Will, being great, fantastic Will, could tell, though, even if Nico hid his face. Will could do that easily, tell what Nico was thinking or know if something was wrong. It was annoying, really, but it was also nice to have someone know and care for him like that.

"Hey, it's okay. It was just a dream...and it's okay to cry," Will told him.

 _Dammit._ Why did he have to know? Why couldn't he stay oblivious to the fact that Nico, son of Hades, was on the verge of crying because of a stupid nightmare.

Nico looked up at Will, and Will could see Nico eyes were overflowing with tears, and one slid down his cheek. Nico closed his eyes in a futile attempt to stop them.

"Sweetie, it's okay. Crying is no big deal. Really. It's just water falling from your eyes, no need to cry about it," Will said.

Nico scoffed. "I hate you," he said through a small smile and a few more tears that escaped, but his voice cracked at the end.

Will smiled. He let go of one of Nico's hands to brush Nico's hair out of his eyes. Even after his hair wasn't a problem, Will continued to run his fingers through Nico's dark hair. They sat their in silence for a bit, until Will finally spoke. His one hand was intertwined with Nico's, the other on Nico's leg.

"What was your dream about?"

Nico thought about it and the more he did, the more anxious he felt.

"I-I don't want to talk about," he found himself saying. It was too late, though, because tears were rolling down his face. He let out a sob, and Will pulled Nico into his lap. He rocked them back and forth, whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

* * *

I know I've tried

I was not stable

And flawed by pride

I miss my sanguine eyes

So hold my hands up

Breathe in and breathe out

 

So love the one you hold

And I'll be your goal

To have and to hold

A lover of the light

 

Mumford and Sons- _A Lover of the Light_

 

 

 


	3. Lana Del Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't take it anymore. Here is some adorable Solangelo that I have been needing in my life. I'm also becoming more and more invested in this fanfic the more I write it. Comment what you think and if there is anything you would like to see in the story! I'm open to some ideas! Thank you!

Hot summer nights, mid July

When you and I were forever wild

The crazy days, the city lights

The way you'd play with me like a child

 

Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?

Will you still love me when I've got nothing but my aching soul?

* * *

They didn't go back to bed that night. It had been around four when Nico woke up from his nightmare, and after that he was going to prolong sleep as long as possible.

That would be the Agoraphobia.

So instead Will and Nico went into their living room in the apartment they shared. It wasn't a terrible apartment, definitely better than a college student and and his 20 year old boyfriend would normally be able to afford (even if that boyfriend was a doctor...it wasn't legal, anyways. He faked his credentials after trying one year of med school. He basically went "lol, nope!" because he "knew everything" and then asked Apollo to get him a job...the lazy bastard).

They sat on the couch, facing each other. Nico had a glass of water in his hand and he was taking sips from it slowly. They watched one another in silence, and it wasn't an awkward silence, just one where you sat in, in anticipation, waiting for _something_ to happen. That _something_ was Will asking Nico the inevitable questions.

"What was your dream about?"

Nico sighed, hoping when he did the anxious feeling he had would leave him. No such luck. He put his glass on the coffee table in front of him.

At first, he almost said he didn't feel like telling Will, that he could handle it on his own. He would have, five years ago, when he was fourteen. That's what he was used to. Not anymore, though. Will was the person he trusted the most. Hazel, too, but she wasn't always around Nico like Will was and she was family. Hazel and him were together by default, then they learned to trust each other and bonded. With Will, it was the other way around. They trusted each other, bonded, then they loved each other.

He loved and trusted all his friends a lot more over the years, as well, but...Will.

So instead he sighed and began. "I was in Tartarus, I think, except the ground was blood instead. Gaea was taunting me and saying you guys, all of you, were dead." He looked up and saw Will's eyes, intent and understanding. "Then...I looked down and saw all your faces, one after another in the blood. You were all dead." He felt himself start to freak out a bit again, his heart rate quickening, but Will saw and grabbed his hand. He could keep going.

"Then I was in, like, some kind of interrogation room. Then people started showing up, blaming me for things, asking questions. You all looked like a cross between a demon and a zombie, though. That was freaky. Then I was screaming in a forest, being attacked by _Empousa_. Then I woke up."

"I'm sorry," Will said.

Nico sat there looking at his and Will's intertwined hands.

"Yeah, well...nothing you can do about it."

"...what did I say? In your dream, I mean," Will asked, and he sounded regretful, as if he had really said those horrible things to Nico.

"Uh, I, don't remember your exact wording, but it was something about, uh..." _Gods_. "That you never loved me, that you wanted me to leave because I was worthless."

"You know none of that's true?" Will asked, the most worried Nico has seen him in a while.

"Of course. It was just a dream." Nico knew those things weren't true, but a very small part of him was worried they were true. A small part, mind you, easy to ignore, but a part, nonetheless.

"Okay...because Nico, gods," Will's eyes were full of admiration "you are the most important thing in my life, and I couldn't live without you. I know that's a very blatant statement and it's early and no one likes the sappy stuff, but I love you. I love you, Nico di Angelo."

Nico sat there and he expected this to plunge him into a panic attack or something. _I mean Will Solace just said he loved me. ME! That's crazy! Love's a strong word, right? Here I am, at five in the morning, upset over a nightmare, the day after being told I have multiple things wrong with me...and he loves me_.

Nico had this whole rant in his head, and the whole time Will sat there, looking at him.

Suddenly Will was taken aback because Nico had thrown his arms around him.

Now, Nico didn't cry a lot. Sure, the panic attack last night and a few before that, but that didn't count. No, he rarely cried, but he did right now. He cried soft tears into Will's shirt, and he didn't even care. That was the best part.

"I love too, Will Solace. Thank you," he said.

* * *

When he was done they went to the kitchen across the hall for breakfast. Will didn't have to work today, and Nico didn't have school on Saturday, so they put their cooking skills to the test and made eggs and sausage.

The eggs were fine. The sausage was not. They traded it out with cereal instead, and ate at the island in the kitchen.

"So, I think we should call over the rest of the dorks because we haven't seen them in a while. Plus, I know they would kill me if I didn't tell them about my "diagnosis". It's Saturday, maybe we could meet up somewhere for lunch," Nico told Will over breakfast. Was Nico nervous to tell them? Yeah... whatever.

"I think that's a lovely idea," Will said through a mouthful of eggs.

"You shouldn't talk with food in your mouth."

"You shouldn't tell me what to do."

"You shouldn't have such an insulting face."

"You shouldn't be such an annoying human being."

"You should check your facts because it's demigod, Sunshine."

" _Anyways_ , where do you wanna go for lunch _Death Boy_?"

"Somewhere that's easy to serve ten demigods, but I don't really want to go to New Rome or anything."

"So, nowhere?"

"Yes."

"Why don't we just do the horrendous place know as McDonalds."

Nico rolled his eyes. "Yeah. I'll get some mist and stuff from Lou Ellen, you call them, let them know. We can get there and rid the place of monsters then eat at the _delicious_ place known as McDonalds."

"Sounds good."

They finished breakfast, got dressed, carried out their jobs, then sat on the couch watching _Sherlock_.

* * *

When Percy, Annabeth, Jason, Piper, Hazel and Frank showed up to McDonalds, Will and Nico had already pushed a few tables together in the middle of the room, and were sitting down. They sat at the end, across from each other, a thing of fries between them.

They had been here since 1:30, half an hour ago to put up the magic Nico had shadowed travel to Lou Ellen to get so monsters couldn't find them (just like the phones they now used). The fries were all they had ordered, and were waiting for the rest to show up so they could order their lunch.

As the other six demigods filled in, Nico was at ease (for once) and laughing as he tried throwing fries into Will's mouth.

"Oh my Gods, you suck at this," Nico said in amusement.

" _I_ suck? Learn how to aim, di Angelo!" There was no real anger in his words, though.

He tried throwing another one into Will's open mouth, but it just smacked him in the face.

"You have to move and try to catch it!"

"I am!"

They had yet to notice the others, and didn't notice as smile's spread on their faces from the contagious ones the couple was wearing.

"Come on, Will! That one was right at you!"  

"Throw another one! I got it this time."

"You said that ten fries ago."

"No, this time's legit."

"Ugh," Nico threw the fry anyway, and Will, unsurprisingly, didn't catch it.

"See?! You suck!...Hey, look who it is!" Nico said as he saw the other demigods.

"Hey!" they said as they sat down.

"So, how are-" Annabeth was cut off by the explosives in the sky and two people walking in through the doors.

"GUESS WHO'S BACK FROM JAPAN?!" Leo Valdez said.

"Oh my gods, calm down, sweetie," Calypso said next to him.

"Always gotta make an entrance, don't you, Leo?" Jason asked.

"What? I can't be excited after seeing-"

"I love you, really, I do, but you have been talking all the way from Japan to California and I can't stand one more second of it," Calypso said looking absolutely exhausted. She then mouthed _Help me_ to the other demigods, who laughed.

The pair sat down, smiling, like all the other demigods at the table.

"So now that I'm here, let's get this party started!" Leo said.

* * *

 

Oh that grace, oh that body

Oh that face makes me want to party

he is my sun he makes me shine like diamonds

 

Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?

Will you still love me when I've got nothing but my aching soul?

I know you will, I know you will

I know that you will

 

Lana Del Rey- _Young and Beautiful_

 


	4. Bring Me The Horizon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm so incredibly sorry it took this long to update. *insert excuse here* Anyways, here's the next chapter, I hope you guys like it. Please comment, bookmark and leave kudos, it will be greatly appreciated! Thank for reading!   
> Also, thank you to Jupanuma for talking to me and helping me know more about Nico and how he would be feeling. Thank you, you're great, rock on!

Can you feel the hopelessness? 

Well, I'm begging on my knees

Can you save my bastard soul?

Will you wait for me?

 

I'm sorry brothers, so sorry lover

Forgive me father, I love you mother

Can you hear the silence?

Can you see the dark?

Can you fix the broken?

Can you feel my heart?

 

* * *

 

 

"Reyna couldn't come?" Nico asked, his attention toward Frank.

"No, she had some stuff going on at Jupiter," he said.

"Well that's too bad," Annabeth said.

"Yeah, she told us she would try to make it. Guess she couldn't," Percy said, sounding sad. At this, the blonde brought her hand up to rub Percy's shoulder, who was seated at her left.

"Yeah, she's going to miss the news."

"That's all right. We'll tell her wh-"

"HOLY SHIT, ANNABETH CHASE IS THAT A RING!" Piper shouted not waiting for Percy to finish. She was seated directly across from Annabeth, so she was the first to notice.

"What?!" Half of the demigods said. The other half was stuff along the lines of "shut the fuck up" and "holy Hades".

Annabeth looked down at her lap then over to Percy, who wore the goofy grin he always did, except this time it was as if all the happiness in the world had piled itself into the son of Poseidon.

The son of Hades also found himself smiling. What? It was contagious. He couldn't have been happier for the two. Of course he still thought Percy was good looking, anyone who didn't think so was a filthy liar. Albeit, the green-eyed boy was just that now. A boy, while attractive, that wasn't some impossible, rare unicorn _(A/N: If you pick up on this reference, I will love you forever)_. He was mistaken to ever think otherwise. No, Percy was his friend. A friend who had made things hard at one point in Nico's life, sure, but he tried to fix them, so Nico was thankful and forgiving.

"Umm," Jason said. "How long have we _not_ known about this?" referencing the news of the engagement.

"Don't worry," Annabeth replied. "Only since last night. We were going to call you guys today, but when Will and Nico invited us here we decided we could just tell you all at once."

"It's about time," Leo informed them.

"Look," Hazel said. "Not all of us can get engaged _three years_ after knowing one another, on the top of the _Eiffel Tower,_ with a _handmade_ ring."

"Go big or go home," was all Leo responded with. The demigods erupted into laughter and the sight was quite a strange one. Ten demigods in a McDonalds, at two, laughing rather than killing monsters, and Nico had never been happier to be a part of a scene like that. It had just been so long since they had all talked, what with all their jobs and such.

Everything was perfect except for a lingering feeling of anxiety in the back of his head, nagging at him. He hated it. That reminded him of the fact that he would have to tell his friends at some point. That could wait until later.

"Anyways," Annabeth pulled them back to the previous topic. "We are obviously going to invite all of you to the wedding. And, um, I know it's still early and normally I like to plan stuff and make sure everything is in the right place-" she admitted.

"You've got that right," Percy interrupted.

"Shut up Percy, I'm talking. But I know I would love for Hazel, Piper and Calypso to be my bridesmaids."

From the look on Percy's face, he was unaware that Annabeth had already come to the decision, but he looked pleased with the idea. With fake annoyance, he said "Well, now I feel like I have to say that the rest of you guys should be my groomsmen."

Everyone was laughing and smiling and thrilled. Leo and Calypso had been married for three years now, since Nico was seventeen. They made it known they were engaged, but neither Camp Half-Blood nor Camp Jupiter ever heard anything about the actual wedding. That is, until after the two were married. That's because of the same reason Leo proposed to Calypso as soon as he was 18. He was impulsive. He was passionate about something, so he got it done. They had gotten married in a town in Mexico they thought was gorgeous. Leo suggested they should "just get hitched" there (rather than plan a huge, extravagant wedding, like they initially thought they were going to do) and Calypso agreed.

So, none of them had actually participated in any of their friends weddings because the only pair that had gotten married didn't have anyone there to see it, making this an exciting new experience. After a bit more talking, Piper of course had to make some sort of comment.

"So, Annabeth. After you two got engaged..." Piper started suggesting. "How was the rest of your night? Well, actually, how, hmm, _good_ did Percy _treat_ you that night? I mean, this was a rather special occasion. I would assume he _at least_ -"

Jason spit out his drink. "WHAT?! Why do you want to know?!" he screamed. Annabeth and Percy's faces were as red as a tomato (which also answered the question), Hazel fanned her face (" _Piper_!"), Calypso and Frank's faces were a bit pink. Everyone else almost fell out of their chair laughing.

"Oh my gods, Piper," Annabeth groaned, rubbing her face.

"I feel like this is the first time I've seen Annabeth actually blush," Frank said, disbelieving.

"Annabeth is too dignified to blush," Calypso said.

"Not now apparently. Gods, what did you guys _do_?" Nico commented.

"Wow. God job, Pipes," Leo complimented.

"No. I'm pretty sure I've seen Annabeth blush," Hazel said. "Percy, too. Heck, even Piper. I would say, out of all of us, Nico's probably the one who never even has the slightest pink on his face," she pointed out.

At this, Will, who had been relatively quiet, let out a boisterous laugh. "Oh, Nico blushes," he said, quite sure of himself.

"I do not!" Nico replied, accompanying a glare. "Death doesn't blush."

"Uh, yeah it does," eyebrows raised.

Percy looked between the two. " _I_ can't think of a time, even when Will was around," he supplied to the conversation.

Nico crossed his arms. "See?"

With a smug look, Will placed his elbows on the table to lean towards the rest of the demigods. "That's because I can't say the things that make Nico blush in public." This caused similar reactions as to when Piper made her comment about Percy and Annabeth, except the aforementioned two were laughing and Nico was glaring.

"Liar," said Nico, still with arms crossed and a death glare pointed in Will's direction.

"Yeah?" Will asked, not wiping that look off his face. He looked toward Jason, who sat at Nico's right. "Jason, do you mind switching seats with me?"

Confused, Jason complied, and when Will sat down he leaned close to Nico's ear so no one could hear him. He placed a hand on Nico's thigh, terribly high up, and Nico felt as if this was just not fair. Then Will started whispering things to Nico and dear gods, he needed to stop because...

_dear Gods Will..._

_Jesus fucking Christ..._

When Will leaned away, he removed his hand, but left Nico's face a very dark shade. This caused a chorus of wolf-whistles, laughing and compliments.

"That's not fair," Nico said once he remembered how to speak.

Will laughed. "I got you to blush, did I not?"

"In a very mean, mean way."

"I liked it."

"Of course you would." He looked up at Will. "You suck."

"If you want me to," Will said.

"WILL!" He cracked up, of course.

"Sorry, sorry," he said, not sounding sorry at all.

"You guys are a mess," Leo noted, barely able to breathe.

Will shrugged. "Yeah," Nico agreed.

"I think they're pretty cute," Calypso exclaimed.

"They might be beating Annabeth and Percy," Frank said.

Will wrinkled his nose and Nico raised an eyebrow. "Ew. No."

"Whatever," said the son of Poseidon. "I'm more interested in what Will said to get Nico to blush."

The boys in question vigorously shook their heads. "Um, no. No you are most definitely _not_ wondering that," Nico said.

"Adult content," said Will.

"I'm older than you!" Percy yelled.

"Shhh, sh. Doctor's orders."

"That doesn't even make sense."

"Yes it does," Will kept talking in a calming tone, shaking his head yes.

"No it doesn't."

"Don't argue."

 

* * *

 

They kept talking about random things throughout the whole meal, slowly eating as to prolong the departure of the Demi-gods. The time came eventually, though, and Nico knew he would have to tell them. Will had been shooting him looks the whole meal, not pressuring, just a "are-you-okay-did-you-forget" sort of way.

"So, uh," Nico started. Terribly smart sounding, don't you think? "So, I need to tell you guys something. I swear everything's fine, I just thought you guys would like to know." Nico was starting to get worried. He had run through his words a few times, but now he was starting to question if he was going to make any logical sense whatsoever. Putting this into words was hard.

Sure, he could ramble of the names of what he had been diagnosed with, but what it actually was, what he felt? That was a completely different thing.

"You okay, Death Boy?" Will, his tether to the world, asked.

"Yeah, yeah. So I haven't been feeling to great after the war. I'm sure you guys know what I mean, but, ah, yesterday they finally diagnosed me with GAD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I also have Agoraphobia, where if I am in, like, a situation and I can't, or rather, feel like I can't get help, or there's too many people or it's too small then I can get a panic attack. They are becoming more frequent...and the GAD is just, you know, anxiety almost all the time, and, uh..." he was falling apart.

Why? That's all he wanted to know. Why him? Why anyone? That's what he was thinking about right now. Why did he have to go through this?

No. No, he had to keep reminding himself. He could fight this, he could. The most unexpected thing was how the hand that intertwined with Nico's own during his rant made him feel like he could overcome any problem, any number of times. Who would have imagined that?

"Oh, Nico," Hazel said. "You're the strongest person I've met." She looks at him not with concern, but a look that is urging him to believe her. "You'll be fine, whether you rid yourself of this or simply live with it, you'll be fine. You can come to any of us, and if Reyna was here she would say the same. I know you're thinking this is a weight meant only for you," she lets out a small laugh and smirks. "Because you're stubborn and prideful, but I would be happy to share it with you. We'll help you so you barely need to carry anything. You know that, right? That we'll be right beside you?"

Nico looks around the table. If Annabeth and Percy can hold up the sky, Frank and Jason can rule a new Roman empire, and Leo and Hazel can come back from the dead, he knows they can most certainly help Nico di Angelo, even if it's only a little. He also knows that if Will Solace can put up with him for this long, he can support Nico now. The looks in all of their eyes ensure his beliefs.

"Thanks you guys. It means more than I can put into words."

"Anytime," Jason says.

"You'll be fine, it's no big deal," Annabeth tells him.

"If you need anything, I expect you to message me, though, you hear?" asks Piper.

Nico laughs a little, mostly from a feel of euphoric relief. "I'll be fine, but sure."

"Good. Now-"

"Now," Leo interrupts. "Let's go back to this wedding..."

The conversation dissipates like Nico hadn't ever said anything at all. He looks back up at Will, who is smiling, laughing and nodding to whatever is being said. When he glances down at Nico, he winks, making Nico's insides feel like butterflies from the Underworld.

* * *

 

 

I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone

I long for that feeling to not feel at all

The higher I get, the lower I'll sink

I can't drown my demons they know how to swim

 

Bring Me The Horizon- _Can You Feel My Heart_

 


	5. Green Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! How is everyone? I'm going to be honest and say I haven't been having a great couple of weeks, and I think that's why this is a lot faster of an update. I would rather be here than facing real problems so that's what I'm doing.  
> Anyways, comments, kudos and bookmarks are wildly appreciated. Thank you to everyone reading and I hope you guys like it. If there is anything you really want to see let me know and I'll try to make it happen.  
> I'll shut up now. Carry on!   
> ...("my wayward son, there'll be peace when you are done")  
> ...("we'll carry on! And though you're dead and gone, believe me, your memory will carry on")  
> ...always with music, guys, you know me by now...

Do you know what's worth fighting for

When it's not worth dying for?

Does it take your breath away

And you feel yourself suffocating

Does the pain weigh out the pride?

And you look for a place to hide

Did someone break your heart inside

You're in ruins

 

One, 21 Guns

Lay down your arms

Give up the fight

One, 21 Guns

Throw up your arms into the sky

You and I...

* * *

 

 

 _Gods_ , how Nico wishes he could say it got better from there. Really he does. Sadly, that's not how most things work. No matter how many stars he wished upon or coins he threw into fountains, these problems wouldn't magically disappear overnight.

So he and Will decided to find a therapist. After help from Chiron and Reyna, they found a doctor in New Rome. She was specifically for demigods because you can't really go up to a mortal and say “hey, I have literally been to Hell, please help me”.

After hearing about her, the two of them packed for New Rome, and shadow traveled from New York to California. They had politely declined Hazel and Frank's offer to stay with them because they didn't want to feel like a burden. Besides, after the war against Gaea and the agreement that the demigods could travel to and fro the half-blood camps, each place had put in places like hotels and cabins for the demigods to stay. Will and Nico found a condo to stay at for a while and scheduled an appointment with the new doctor.

Today, though, the couple had decided to take a walk through New Rome to talk and see where they would be spending their time for a while. They talked about the therapist, who had been said to be very good.

“You can't really be bad if there is no one to be better than you,” Nico had bitterly pointed out.

“Nico,” Will said, almost snapped. “ _Please_ , try to be optimistic about his.”

“How am I supposed to be optimistic? I'm going to a person who I have never met before and hoping they can fix the problems a person I had also never met prior to this told me I had?!"

Will could tell Nico was getting riled up. He decided to wait until he was done because Nico needed to vent his emotions more. If this was how he did it (it was, trust him-he would know) then that's fine. All Will could do was listen.

"Now I am about to trust that they are going to ' _understand me_ '” -he put in finger quotes- “and make me ' _better_ '! While at the same time trying to make sure I don't freak out in front of everyone due to a fucking panic attack, and make sure that you aren't constantly overworking yourself because your stupid boyfriend needs money to go see a fucking therapist! The son of Hades needs a therapist, I'm sure everyone's real proud of me now, like they even were before. I'm even more of freak! Great, I'm ecstatic about this, Will. Really, I can't wait."

Will and Nico had stopped walking. Sometime in the middle of the younger one's rant, he had ceased walking to gesture with his hands, in the cute way he did. Will stood there, looking at Nico. He was wearing a pair of skinny jeans that Will had seriously fallen in love with and a black sweatshirt and converse.

Still not wanting to stop looking at this dumb, beautiful person in front of him, Will leaned back against the wall behind him and shoved his hands into his own jacket. Will multi-tasked; half of him thinking of words to gather and present to his boyfriend, the other half appreciating how incredibly lucky he was.

First, Nico di Angelo, kay? He was gorgeous. He didn't seem to realize it, but Will sure did. The way he looked with a sword in his hands, especially. The rare confidence that seemed to radiate off of him, the grace in all his moves, and the way the shadows seemed to conform to Nico, outlining him in a dark, enduring magnificence. At least that's how Will felt. Some people found it more frightening, but Will had been drawn to it, for it was something completely different from sunshine. Not in a bad way, just different.

Not only was he gorgeous, but he was smoking hot. Like the afore mentioned skinny jeans? Either a Gods greatest gift to the world or a terrible sin because the thoughts Will had...let's not go there, not now.

Anyways, Nico had flaws, obviously, but for Will he was perfect. Does that make sense? No? Well it was like this. Will was fully aware that Nico was not flawless and sometimes those same flaws drove Will insane, but if Nico didn't have those flaws, he wouldn't be Nico. When Will thought about it, though, he wouldn't change a thing about his boyfriend.

He also seemed to understand Will. He could tell the difference between the natural light from the son of Apollo and the fake one, the forced moments. Nico had also helped Will understand death. He had helped him understand the Will couldn't save everyone, that people needed to die and that's okay. This went along with the same idea that Nico and Will balanced one another out...most of the time. They were both terribly stubborn, and snarky when they wanted to be, but, in the grand scheme of things, Nico and Will were balanced beautifully.

In summary, he had fallen madly and hopelessly in love.

Second, after a few moments had passed, Will finally spoke.

"Nico di Angelo, I swear, if you ever refer to yourself as a freak again, I will kill you. Then, because I'm a doctor, I will bring you back to life, so I can kill you again. Do you understand me?" He had made his voice gravely low. When Nico opened his mouth to say something, Will cut him off.

"You are not a freak." His voice just stern now. "And people value you more than you think because you are important. I'm sure as hell proud of you, anyone at either of those battles is, and your dad is. The wars would not have been won without you. I would have had more people come through my infirmary and more needing their name on papers proclaiming their death. I also know Bianca and your mother would be proud of you."

Nico looked shocked, his mouth opening and closing, and he tried to interrupt Will again, but he kept on talking.

"Oh, and stop with this "overworking" shit. If I want to take more hours at work, I will very well do so. Not only do I not mind to do this because I love you, but it's my job to be there for people if they need me. Being at the hospital is the best way I can do that. Then, I get to be there for you for you when I'm home- and before you can say anything about not needing to be looked after," Will hurried, stealing the words from Nico's mouth. "I know that you can kick anyone's ass if you feel inclined to do so. Besides, that's not what I'm doing. I simply want to be an extra support. I have no doubt in my mind you could fight off anything flying solo, I just don't want you to have to do it ever again."

Once again Nico was at a loss for words. He tried, multiple times, to say something, but couldn't. Instead he reached up and grabbed the collar to Will's shirt and yanked down so their lips met. Will wrapped his arms around the others waist and they didn't know how long they stood there, but it was a while before either of them pulled away. Even when they did, there was only a few inches between them, neither releasing their hold on the other.

"I..." Nico began. He sighed. "Thank you. Really."

"I'm not lying or sugar-coating it, you know? I mean it."

Finally tearing his eyes away from blue ones, Nico let out a small laugh and glanced down, only to look back up.

"I know. I like that, too. That I know."

Will smiled. "Good." He left one more chaste kiss on Nico's lips, then intertwined their fingers. He began pulling Nico down the concrete, and, after sticking his empty hand into his sweatshirt, followed with little resistance.

"C'mon, let's talk more on this subject later. Right now I want food."

Nico rolled his eyes. "You always want food."

"I would disagree, but I'm against lying."

* * *

 

 

True to his word, after they ate at a cheap cafe in the city, Will and him talked about this whole therapist situation. Sitting in a park, shaded by a tree (compromise) Nico had his head in Will's lap. They were keeping conversations light up until that point.

"Why are you afraid?" Will asked Nico.

Nico thought about it. He had thought about it a lot, actually, why he was so reluctant to go, and deep down he knew the answer. He didn't like it, but he knew.

"I don't want them to tell me I can't be fixed."

That had made Will go silent. Nervous, Nico kept talking.

"I'm afraid I'm going to go and have them tell me that I'm damaged beyond repair. I mean, I already know I am, but I don't think I'll be able to hear it. Maybe a part of me still hopes I'm not all screwed up."

"Why do you think so lowly of yourself? _How_ do you?" Will inquired further. "You need to stop thinking like that. Especially considering you don't need fixing and that you aren't 'all screwed up'. You're not a damaged thing, Nico. You are a human, or at least part of one, and they are never perfect, but that doesn't make anyone permanently ruined."

"I mean if it's any consolation, I know I must have been even more screwed up in a past life." Will's face was priceless. "I mean, to deserve being stuck with you? Gods, what did I do?"

Nico erupted in laughter as Will had an odd mix of frustration, shock, and amusement hidden in his eyes.

"Oh, get out of here!" Will yelled at him. Finally, Will started to chuckle along with Nico. "Thank you, Sunshine. Love you," Nico said.

"I love you, too, Death Boy."

Of course, though, this feeling known as happiness was shortly lived. It had slipped through their fingers when they weren't looking. The two demigods, after a bit more banter, had fallen asleep in the park. They only awoke when a scream had cut through the air. It took a second to realize that the blood curdling scream was coming from Nico, who was still asleep, in a nightmare of once to true horrors.

* * *

 

When you're at the end of the road

And you've lost all sense of control

And your thoughts have taken their toll

When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

 

Your faith walks on broken glass

And the hangover doesn't pass

Nothing's ever built to last

You're in ruins

 

One, 21 Guns

Lay down your arms

Give up the fight

One, 21 Guns

Throw up your arms into the sky

You and I...

 

Green Day- _21 Guns_

 


	6. My Chemical Romance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So sorry about the longer wait, but this chapter is longer. That's good right?   
> Anyways, I hope you guys like it, if you see any mistakes it would be grand of you to let me know. Also, here's this -- https://www.tumblr.com/blog/deathby-fandom --if you wanted to go there. For the series I started recently (on this same account) you can request, give ideas, or if you just want to talk, I'm so down... because I'm trash with no life! Yay!   
> Bookmarks, kudos, and of course comments are appreciated. Thank for reading guys!

Sometimes we must grow stronger and

  
You can be stronger when I'm gone

 

When I’m here, no longer

  
You must be stronger

* * *

 

 

“Hey, are you ready to go?” Will said, as he walked into the condo.

Nico was sitting on the couch _trying_ to pay attention to some show he had randomly turned on. That wasn’t happening, though, because _Gods_ was he nervous. He had his first therapy session in about half an hour and he was seriously debating whether or not he should go.

He hadn’t eaten anything all day (please for the love, don’t ask if he did, Will, _please_ ) and his mind had been racing. His stomach felt like throwing up anything it could find in it, he was shaking, and he felt on the verge of a panic attack the whole day. He hadn’t even left the house.

Looking over to his boyfriend, who was taking of his uniform from the hospital, he decided to give it a shot.

“Um, I don’t think I should go anymore…” he gulped.

One eyebrow raised, blue eyes looked at his dark ones questioningly. “Are you nervous?”

“Only a little.” Maybe he could lie himself out of this one.

“A little?” Will questioned.

“Yeah, I mean, I doubt this will help anything. I’m starting to feel better the more we’re in New Rome, too.”

With a sigh, Will came and sat on the couch next to Nico. “Angel, you haven’t eaten anything today, have you?” he asked in a way that sounded defeated, like he already knew the answer, which he probably did. So Nico just nodded.

“And the nightmares? Didn’t you have one last night?”

That surprised Nico because he _did_ have a nightmare, but he had just laid there, trying not to be too disturbing, hoping Will wouldn’t wake up. He thought he had succeeded, but turns out arm that had wrapped around him at just the right time weren’t coincidental.  

“I have one every night,” Nico said, dismissively.

“…I really think you should go. Maybe it will help talking to someone.”

“I didn’t talk to anyone before, I don’t need to do it now.”

“I won’t force you,” Will said. “But will you just try it once? If you don’t like it you never have to go again and we’ll just stay in New Rome. Deal?”

Nico thought about. He really felt like he was going to throw up, maybe pass out. He wanted to find a corner and just lay there forever, until he died.

Looking at Will, though… he just seemed so hopeful and that made Nico want to be hopeful, too. He didn’t know how that worked, but it did.

“Fine.”

Then Will smiled his breathtaking smile, and leaned forward and kissed Nico firmly on his lips, wrapping his arms around the thin waist. Nico flung his arms around Will’s neck, holding him there.

After what felt like way too short, but was probably going to make them almost late, they grabbed their coats and began walking to the complex the session was held in.

* * *

 

When the couple arrived, a few people were already in the waiting room. A girl who looked around 10 and what must have been her brother, around Nico’s age, 19. There was a women and a man older than him by only a few years, a teenage girl, and a man sitting behind a receptionist’s desk.

Nico and Will walked father into the room, which they could tell had been decorated to make the patients feel comfortable. They checked Nico in then went and sat in a few chairs nearby. They sat in silence for a while, an awkward one, but then the girl jumped up suddenly, and ran over in front of the two of them.

“Hi!” she exclaimed.

Offering a bright smile, Will leaned forward. “Hi,” he said back.

“I’m Eliza and did you know that yesterday there was a party in Hollywood and I got to hang out with the two famous people on the radio? That’s my brother, Joseph, he didn’t come, but his girlfriend broke up with him. Also I can shoot webs and am friends with spiders because I’m Spider-man! My dad, he’s the thief of thieves and I don’t like that because last time I stole, mom got mad and I had to stay in my room. But I got a new friend at training the other day!” she said, gesturing wildly with her hands.

“Really? Wow, that’s cool,” Will said in mock amazement.

“Yup, and-“

“Eliza!” the girl’s brother said sharply.

“I have to go now, but I like you and you should come back with your friend even though he’s sad and quiet. Bye!” She ran back to her brother.

The child of Apollo sat back and looked over at Nico. “She was cute… I liked her,” he added.

“I’m the sad and quiet one now? Pft, no way. What happened to scary and menacing?” Nico asked with some fake anger and disbelief (which might have been real). Will chuckled.

“Sorry to break it to you, Death Boy, but you were never scary nor were you menacing.”

“Oh, bullshit. I’m the most intimidating person you know.”

“You wish,” Will scoffed.

Nico rolled his eyes, trying to fake a smile. Will could see how fake it was, though.

 He was hopping his nerves would have chilled by now, but no such luck. Nico still, sat there, anxious as ever.

One after another, people were called into different rooms, for different appointments and problems, until after maybe five minutes it was the women and Nico. Finally, though, Nico was called.

“Nico?” the receptionist called and Nico almost ran out of the room,

“Here,” he said instead.

“Dr. Flynn will see you now. Right this way,” he got up to walk Nico down a hallway. Will squeezed his hand.

“You’re gonna be fine,” Will said, and it wasn’t a question. Nico sighed then got up to follow the man to the room.

* * *

 

 

If I could be with you tonight

  
I would sing you to sleep

  
Never let them take the light behind your eyes

  
I failed and lost this fight

  
Never fade in the dark

 

Just remember you will always burn as bright

 

My Chemical Romance-  _The Light Behind Your Eyes_

 


	7. Sleeping With Sirens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are again, with me apologizing over how late I am with a new chapter. I really am sorry. I even told one of you guys that I would update last week, but low and behold- I didn't, so I am very sorry, darling. I was on vacation in New York for a week and I was trying to get caught up on work for school. That's my excuse. Sorry.  
> Thank you all for OVER A 100 KUDOS?! I never imagined that response from anything I did, so thank you all. You mean the world to me and never forget that. I love you all and thank you.

Don’t wake me up if I’m sleeping this life away

Tell me that I’ll never be good enough

Sometimes it hurts to think it could really be that way

It won’t be that way

  
  
I’m tired and I’m lost

I don’t wanna be found

I put my heart and my soul

And strength in this now

* * *

 

 

Nico didn't like talking about himself.

That's why he didn't like therapy. The first thing he did when he sat down on that couch in front of Dr.Flynn's desk was talk about himself.

She asked questions, then he answered.

"Was it your idea to come here?"

"No."

"Who's was it?" 

"I guess my boyfriend's."

"You agreed?"

"No, that's why I'm sitting in your office." Nico felt like he was exceptionally sarcastic today.

"Some people feel pressured into going to a counselor...?"

Nico laughed. "Will couldn't pressure a child into taking a lollipop. Even if the child wanted the candy."

"I'll take your word for it. So, you agreed. Why?"

"..."

"You don't have to go into detail. I'm just trying to get to know you. It'll be good-"

"I'm sick of the nightmares, I guess. I don't want to be nervous all the time."

That's how most of his first session went. She would ask questions, simple ones, like about his friends, his family (that was a short topic) and, mostly his nightmares.

At first it was just the nightmares. After a bit, though, she began asking questions about Tartarus. 

"You were alone, right?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think someone should have been there for you?"

"No. Never. No one should have to go through that Hell."

"What was the worst part? If you had to choose one thing for no one to go through, what would it be?"

"All of it."

" What was the worst part for you, then?"

"All of it. Everything about it makes me want to... everything.

"Go ahead. Everything about it makes you want to what?"

"Nothing. Just everything about it was terrible."

"Are you sure? I'm here to help, Nico. Listen to you and help, that's what I do. I feel like you were going to say something that was definitely worth listening too."

"Well, you were wrong."

"...okay."

"..."

"While you were there-"

"I think I'm going to go."

"We still have about 15 minutes left, but if you want to go, I won't stop you.

"I guess I'll be back, then."

"Alright, I'll see you next time."

"Mm-hmm. Bye."

"Bye, Nico."

That was his first session.

He didn't like therapy.

When Will asked how it was, though, he lied. Why? He has no idea. 

The worst part about lying to Will was he knew he was lying. Will did that thing with his eyebrows, tilted his head like a fucking puppy, and asked if he was sure.

And Nico just lied again.

"Yeah. It was fine," Nico said, as he curled into the corner of the couch. Will sat at the other end, mirroring Nico's position.

"You don't have to go back," Will said.

"I know, but I should."

"Not really," Will said, as if it was the most obvious thing.

"Will," Nico snapped. "I don't want to be crying into your arms every night. I don't want to be waking you up at two in the morning every fucking night." 

"Nico, I don't care."

"You should!"

"Why would I?"

"Because you have better things to do!"

"You are the better thing. Which I'm also doing."

Nico would have laughed at that, or at least snickered, but he wasn't paying attention. He was too busy ranting. His rant was a bit too close to becoming a panic attack for Will's liking.  

"...but you can't do anything because you're too nice and want to help me, but you can't, okay? You can't. I think you know that, though. It's kind of hard to miss. But you stay! Why? I haven't the slightest idea! All I do is hold you back! You could have anyone! Anyone! But you're with me of all people! Me?! That's why I have to go back. Because I'm useless. I-" 

He was interrupted by soft lips his own. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When Will pulled away, Nico saw that, in the chaos of his mind, Will had leaned forward so that he was on his stomach, his head propped up in between Nico's legs. 

"Nico?" Will asked. 

"Yeah?"

"Shut the fuck up. Please?"

"Sorry."

"I wish you wouldn't talk like that," Will said sadly.

"What do you mean?"

"You talk as if you just existing is a huge inconvenience for everyone on the planet, when it is quite literally the opposite."

Nico scoffed. "I don't know if I would go that far," he said sounding unsure.

"Well, I would. You do realized you saved the world, right?" 

"It wasn't just me-"

"No, but you were there, and you helped."

"Will..." Nico looked away from his bright-eyed boyfriend. He was too nice, really. 

"Oh, don't you 'Will' me," the child of Apollo mocked, smiling.

Nico had only glanced to see that smile. He looked back down at the floor. He didn't understand how or how Will saw him as something that special. Nico noticed that lately he was realizing the truth a lot easier. Like how he really wasn't some great hero or a good boyfriend, or any of those things. It was upsetting that he was only realizing them now, but he was. That's why he only glanced at Will's face- because he couldn't stand to see the seemingly undying hope that resided there. Nico wasn't worth it, and he didn't need to be reminded. 

"So... I shouldn't go back?" Nico asked, to change the subject.

Will shrugged and sat up. "Only if you want to. Now you can make that decision because you've been there, right? It's all up to you, Neeks."

Nico could still smirk at that. Will took this as a good sign. "Don't call me that."

"No," Will replied, simply.

Finally Nico broke out in to a full on smile, the ones Will lived for. "I can't believe you..."

"Let's watch something," Will said, already turning the t.v. on.

"I swear to gods," Nico said after he realized _what_ Will was turning on. "You're just obsessed with the hot guys in this show!"

"Hey!" Will sounded very offended. "This show also has a great plot with great character development and great antagonists. Can I also appreciate the looks of the actors? Yes, but that has nothing to do with my love for it."

Nico couldn't help but smile as Will flung his arm around the smaller ones shoulders, bringing him closer. "Bullshit! You just want to stare at Jensen Ackles's face."

"That ones Misha!" Will exclaimed, for not the first time.

"Oh for my father's sake, they're all the same! Except for the tall, long haired one."

"Jared Padalecki. The one you're talking about. It's Jared Padalecki."

"Oh, shut up," Nico said. He hoped it came out amused because he was, really, but a thought lingered in the back of his mind.

The thought that he wasn't as important as Will said he was, that Nico really was what he thought. He didn't want it to be true, but he couldn't get the idea out of his head, and it made him terribly, terribly worried.

* * *

 

 

Sometimes you gotta fall before you fly

And sometimes you really live, you’ve gotta try

We can change it all together, in the end you’re gonna find

That what we felt in our hearts was real the whole time

When you open up your eyes, I hope that you find

Who you are, who you are

 

Sleeping With Sirens-  _Who Are You Now?_

 

 


End file.
